Leading figures from the Leave EU campaign, who are now running the whole country, today admitted that the whole concept was done "4 the lolz" and the latent fascism it enabled was really just "gravy".
Shadowy mastermind and shaven vulva-impersonator Dominic Cummings was quoted by a member of the public who had taken part in one of the senior advisor's focus groups as saying that "I'm in charge now so zero fucks are officially being given weyyyyyyyy!!" and that even if there were not a long-term strategy to eradicate workers rights and strip the country of its remaining public assets he would probably have done it for "the banter".
"That shit-for-brains clown we convinced you to vote for could fuck a dog live on TV and you wouldn't get off your wanky DFS sofa," Cummings is also alleged to have said. "The fucking state of you proles! And look at me; I gave a bunch of crappy half-hearted excuses in No. 10's garden for fucking off to Durham with the plague and COOOO-EEEE! Still fucking here bab!" Political analysts, while questioning the veracity of the source, admitted that the tendency of the British public to put up with pretty much anything did chime with a new attitude emerging from the highest levels of government.
Dr Miriam Barcode from the University of Weymouth said that "it's probably true that a mix of entitlement, an upper-class culture of impunity and the sheer excitement of getting away with an Ocean's Eleven-style political heist has led to a new attitude among the advisers behind the Tory Party. We are seeing their guards collectively drop as they realise that nothing can touch them. At this point it's like being in a nightclub, and you're doing lines off the bouncer's girlfriend's tits in front of the poor man and there's nothing he can do because you own the place and he's a refugee from a war zone and you've got his passport and his mum's in your cellar. They've closed the pubs for four months - four fucking months - and we just went 'yeah, ok then'. We've abdicated any responsibility and anything that now happens we probably deserve it."
Card-carrying fascist and the real brains behind the referendum victory Matthew Elliot, the man who Dominic Cummings and PM Boris Johnson actually report into, was approached for comment but was unable to come to the phone as he had "Satan's divine member in his mouth at a critical time", according to his wife.
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