Cummings achieves quantum wanker superposition
Key Government advisor and malevolent cartoon testicle Dominic Cummings yesterday ascended beyond the realm of political analysis and...
RIP Satire 2020: Dr Gammons is UKIP candidate for London Mayor
The comedy genre of satire died today after a long struggle with reality, it was announced today, as the Tesco Value fascist party UKIP...
Woman in coma blinks; does more for child hunger than UK Government
A local woman who has spent four years in a coma today fluttered open her eyes, simultaneously bringing joy to her family and doing more...
Ronkswood pensioner somewhat surprised to have A-Levels downgraded
Local pensioner Arnold Grafspee, 78, of Mersey Road, was shocked and concerned at having his A-Level results in English and Classics...
Local tories cut off members in protest at minor inconvenience that could save thousands of lives
Local Conservative Party supporters have cut up their members - oh I am sorry, membership cards - in sheer disgust at the Government's...
Sunak visits Worcester while world burns
Chancellor and background Vulcan from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Rishi Sunak visited Worcester Bosch on Thursday morning following the...
Local man in committed, sexual relationship with Union Jack flag
Jeremy Smith has become the first man in the Worcester area to openly declare his romantic love for the Union Flag, commonly known as the...
Local DJ assaulted after playing Level 42 and nothing else
Part-time Worcester DJ and accountant Alan Crevice, aka 'DJ Darth Fader', was booed, assaulted and ultimately forced to stop playing in...
Ghislaine Maxwell found dead in cell three weeks from now
Celebrity nonce-facilitator and actual Bond-villain daughter Ghislaine Maxwell, who was arrested yesterday, has been found dead in her...
Welcome to the New Worcester News
No it's not that Worcester news. This is the New Worcester News, nothing to do with Worcester News, which remains Worcester's best-loved...
"I'll eff you up, you flying rat b@#tards!!" - local councillor loses shit at seagulls. Again.
Worcester city councillor and rabid reactionary nutjob Colin Colliery today took aim - again - at the city's problem seagull population....
Leave EU admit they "can't believe you fell for this shit ladz!"
Leading figures from the Leave EU campaign, who are now running the whole country, today admitted that the whole concept was done "4 the...