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  • Simone Le Vache

Local DJ assaulted after playing Level 42 and nothing else

Part-time Worcester DJ and accountant Alan Crevice, aka 'DJ Darth Fader', was booed, assaulted and ultimately forced to stop playing in his triumphant return to the decks post-lockdown in little-known watering hole Ye Olde Worcester Tavern last night, after playing a set solely consisting of songs by slightly preposterous 80's Jazz Funk doodlers Level 42.


Darth Fader, coincidentally aged 42, appeared to have suffered a psychotic episode whilst furloughed due to the Covid-19 pandemic. His audience, while initially receptive to undeniable bangers like 'The Sun Goes Down (Living It Up)', began to question his song choices after eight tracks from the same artist. They audibly began complaining after an hour and a half, with some bursting into tears during a nine-minute loop of the slap bass breakdown from 'Turn It On'.


"We thought we might be struggling after he walked in dressed exactly like Mark King," said publican Mark David Chipmunk. "Early King, mind. Headband, tank top, the lot. By the time 'Running In The Family' came round for literally the 12th time it kicked off and we had punters who had to be restrained by the door staff. It was carnage. People had come out for their first pub beer in months and it was ruined for them. The DJ kept yelling at the crowd that they simply didn't appreciate Wally Badarou, and none of them knew who he is! They're tyre fitters, mostly."


When asked why he simply didn't ask him to stop, Chipmunk replied that he had already payed Darth Fader up front by BACS as they weren't using cash and he'd be too pissed at the end of his shift to work his online banking app and he wanted to get his money's worth. Customers took matters into their own hands and glasses were thrown, some with people's heads still in them, and then beer garden furniture followed. Emergency services were called, with Fader requiring nine stitches in a head wound and an injection of high-strength Fluphenazine.


Fader himself had no clear explanation for his selections, saying that his record collection was wide and diverse, he just got "really, really in to the deep L42 stuff" while he was off work. "Even their poppy, leisure suit later stuff is class. Lessons in Love is a blinder, it spoke to me, deeply, especially when my wife Sandy left me in May. Oh God Sandy! All the dreams that we were building, we never fulfilled them. Could be better, should be better, for lessons in love."


Level 42 responded to our request for a comment, but we're strictly Incognito people so it went in the bin.

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